Daily Reflections
October 9
A SPIRITUAL AXIOM
It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us.
-12 & 12, p. 90
I never truly understood the Tenth Step’s spiritual axiom until I had the following experience. I was sitting in my bedroom, reading into the wee hours, when suddenly I heard my dogs barking in the back yard. My neighbors frown on this kind of disturbance so, with mixed feelings of anger and shame, as well as fear of my neighbor’s disapproval, I immediately called in my dogs. Several weeks later the exact situation repeated itself but this time, because I was feeling more at peace with myself, I was able to accept the situation–dogs will bark–and I calmly called in the dogs. Both incidents taught me that when a person experiences nearly identical events and reacts two different ways, then it is not the event that is of prime importance, but the person’s spiritual condition. Feelings come from inside, not from outward circumstances. When my spiritual condition is positive, I react positively.
Twenty-Four Hours A Day
October 9
A.A. Thought For The Day
Am I willing to be bored sometimes at meetings? Am I willing to listen to much repetition of A.A. principles? Am I willing to hear the same thing over and over again? Am I willing to listen to a long blow by blow personal story, because it might help some new member? Am I willing to sit quietly and listen to long-winded members go into every detail of their past? Am I willing to take it, because it is doing them good to get it off their chest? My feelings are not too important. The good of A.A. comes first, even if it is not always comfortable for me. Have I learned to take it?
Meditation For The Day
God would draw us all closer to Him in the bonds of the spirit. He would have all people drawn closer to each other in the bonds of the spirit. God, the great Spirit of the universe, of which each of our own spirits is a small part, must want unity between Himself and all His children. “Unity of the spirit in the bonds of peace.” Each experience of our life, of joy, of sorrow, of danger, of safety, of difficulty, of success, of hardship, of ease, each should be accepted as part of our common lot, in the bonds of the spirit.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may welcome the bonds of true fellowship. I pray that I may be brought closer to unity with God and other people.
Walk In Dry Places
October 9
Can we tell others they are wrong?
Sharing
As we become more sensitive to others, we soon learn that it’s very difficult to tell another person he or she is wrong. Even when we struggle to be kind and diplomatic, we can provoke an angry reaction.
We should not be surprised, because showing people they’re wrong is one of the most difficult things in human experience. Few people like to be told that they’re wrong, as we can see when our wrongs are advertised to others.
There is almost no way to directly tell people they’re wrong without hurting or offending the. Furthermore, if they are hurt or offended, they might feel less inclined to work to correct their behavior.
If we’ve taken the 12 Step principles to heart, however, we learn first that we are usually not required to tell anybody that he or she is wrong. But we can help people simply by relating accounts of situations when we were wrong and what we did to change. If done properly, this gives the other person the opportunity to change without feeling resentment or humiliation.
I’ll try to be as sensitive as possible to the feelings of others. I’ll be especially careful about trying to show them that they’re wrong.
Keep It Simple
October 9
A man should never be ashamed to own he was in the wrong.
—Jonathan Swift
In the past, we felt a mistake was a crisis. We thought we had a to be perfect. Our old ways was to try to hide our mistakes. We were ashamed. We thought making mistakes meant we were bad.
Mistakes are normal. We can learn from our mistakes. They can teach us.
They can guide us. The Tenth Step directs us to promptly admit when we’re wrong. Then, over time, we start to see mistakes as normal life events. As we face and correct our mistakes, shame is washed away. We feel lighter. We know it is normal to make mistakes.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me see that mistakes are normal life events. Help me promptly admit when I’m wrong.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll talk to my sponsor about mistakes I’ve made the past week. I’ll not act ashamed of my mistakes.
“If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.”
–Jennifer JonesIt’s not the load that breaks you down; it’s the way you carry it.
–Lena Horne“If God brings you to it, He’ll bring you through it!”
–From As We See It“Criticizing another’s garden does not keep the weeds out of yours.”
–Unknown“Do you live in tomorrow when you must face today? At times, I forget to live in the moment, but what do I miss? The setting sun, the sound of birds’ singing and, most importantly, I miss meeting myself. I am constantly changing, and if I don’t spend time with myself in the here and now, I will never get to appreciate who I truly am because I am too busy focusing on who I want to be.”
–Gary Barnes
Father Leo’s Daily Meditation
October 9
HUMILITY
“I believe the first test of a really great man is humility.”
– John Ruskin
An understanding of humility that makes sense to me is that of the man who is aware of his limitations but still reaches for the stars.
For years I thought that humility was groveling in the dirt. Keeping quiet and acting obsequious. Being a religious doormat for others to walk upon.
Nothing could be further from the truth! Humility is about speaking your mind, fighting for your ideas and opinions, creating through effort, sweat and debate. The humble man’s ego is based on reality — not fed on illusion. When he is wrong, he can admit it and is open to the ideas of others.
Humility is based upon a realistic self-love.
O God, let me humbly rejoice in Your gift of creativity.
Daily Inspiration
October 9
When something bothers or upsets you, you can either complain about it or make peace with it. Lord, help me promptly deal with the distractions of my day and move on to the things that truly make my day a pleasure.
In your pursuit of happiness, pause to relax and be happy. Lord, slow me down just enough to enjoy all that You have given to me.
Elder’s Meditation of the Day
October 9
“That spiritual power I wear is much more beautiful and much greater. We call it wisdom, knowledge, power and gift or love. There are these four parts to that spiritual power. So I wear those. When you wear that power it will beautify your mind and spirit. You become beautiful. Everything that Tunkashila creates is beautiful.”
–Wallace Black Elk, LAKOTA
When I was young, I asked my grandfather, “What should I pray for?” He thought for a long time and then he said, “Pray only for wisdom and for the knowledge of love.” This makes a lot of sense. No matter what happens I ask the Creator to show me the lessons I should be learning. I pray for Him to help me learn the lessons. By doing this everyday we become beautiful human beings.
Great Spirit, grant me Your wisdom.
Today’s Gift
October 9
… but time and chance happeneth to them all.
—Ecclesiastes
Life, director of the comedy, always lets things get a little out of hand. We all know what would be normal and right, but the right horse sometimes finishes last in the race, and the jerk has all the money. The wise people, like us, are ignored by all, and the good woman gets in trouble with the law. The saint cheats on his income tax, but he never gets caught the way the needy ones like us do, and the worst sinners get saved in the nick of time, while the fittest sometimes just drop dead.
If all the best-laid plans go wrong, maybe we are meant to learn that such important things aren’t so important, after all.
If the skies are custard pies waiting to plop down on our hopeful faces, maybe it is best to accept the gift, count it a blessing, and lick our chops.
How have my failures been successes in disguise?
The Language Of Letting Go
October 9
Self-Disclosure
Learning to gently reveal who we are is how we open ourselves up to love and intimacy in our relationships.
Many of us have hidden under a protective shell, a casing that prevents others from seeing or hurting us. We do not want to be that vulnerable. We do not want to expose our thoughts, feelings, fears, weaknesses, and sometimes our strengths, to others.
We do not want others to see who we really are.
We may be afraid they might judge us, go away, or not like us. We may be uncertain that who we are is okay or exactly how we should reveal ourselves to others.
Being vulnerable can be frightening, especially if we have lived with people who abused, mistreated, manipulated, or did not appreciate us.
Little by little, we learn to take the risk of revealing ourselves. We disclose the real person within to others. We pick safe people, and we begin to disclose bits and pieces about ourselves.
Sometimes, out of fear, we may withhold, thinking that will help the relationship or will help others like us more. That is an illusion. Withholding who we are does not help the other person, the relationship, or us. Withholding is behavior that backfires. For true intimacy and closeness to exist, for us to love ourselves and be content in a relationship, we need to disclose who we are.
That does not mean we tell all to everyone at once. That can be a self-defeating behavior too. We can learn to trust ourselves, about who to tell, when to tell, where to tell, and how much to tell.
To trust that people will love and like us if we are exactly who we are is frightening. But it is the only way we can achieve what we want in relationships. To let go of our need to control others – their opinions, their feelings about us, or the course of the relationship – is the key.
Gently, like a flower, we can learn to open up. Like a flower, we will do that when the sun shines and there is warmth.
Today, I will begin to take the risk of disclosing who I am to someone with whom I feel safe. I will let go of some of my protective devices and risk being vulnerable – even though I may have been taught differently, even though I may have taught myself differently. I will disclose who I am in a way that reflects self-responsibility, self-love, directness, and honesty. God, help me let go of my fears about disclosing who I am to people. Help me accept who I am, and help me let go of my need to be who people want me to be.
Touchstones Meditation For Men
October 9
Nothing worse could happen to one than to be completely understood.
—Carl Jung
We so often long to be understood. We imagine it would cure our loneliness and empty feelings. We think of it as a kind of intimacy. Yet, we may be longing for a false goal. We are each a unique man on an incomplete journey. We don’t yet fully understand ourselves. There is still much mystery beneath the surface of our being. If our partners or friends completely understood us, where would we go from there? We would no longer belong to ourselves.
Perhaps we are completely understood by our Higher Power but not by another person. It is a fact of life that we continue to grow and to reveal deeper layers of ourselves. We have relationships in which we can share the mysteries as they unfold. We can talk and be understood. In communication we find our closeness and intimacy.
Today, I will remember that at the deepest level no one can fully understand me. I will communicate with others to deal with my loneliness.
Daily TAO
October 9
FOCUS
Two chess masters confront each other
Without music, chorus, or sound.
Chairs do not squeak,
Audience does not talk.
Why, then, do people meditate carelessly?
When two chess masters play, the audience is solemn. Everyone understands what is at stake. Everyone knows that the masters must be allowed utter silence and total concentration. But when it comes to people’s attitudes about meditation, they assume that noisy streets, inconsiderate roommates, foul smells, and dirty rooms have no impact. After all, isn’t meditation just a mental activity divorced from the realities of environment?
If that was so, there wouldn’t be meditation halls. If that was so, there wouldn’t be places of solace. If that was so, then people wouldn’t seek the quiet of secret gardens. Meditation is not a supplementary activity. It is not mere relaxation and stress reduction. It is the way to bring one’s very humanity into focus.