Daily Reflections
October 8
DAILY INVENTORY
… and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
-ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59
I was beginning to approach my new life of sobriety with unaccustomed enthusiasm. New friends were cropping up and some of my battered friendships had begun to be repaired. Life was exciting, and I even began to enjoy my work, becoming so bold as to issue a report on the lack of proper care for some of our clients. One day a co-worker informed me that my boss was really sore because a complaint, submitted over his head, had caused him much discomfort at the hands of his superiors. I knew that my report had created the problem, and began to feel responsible for my boss’s difficulty. In discussing the affair, my co-worker tried to reassure me that an apology was not necessary, but I soon became convinced that I had to do something, regardless of how it might turn out. When I approached my boss and owned up to my hand in his difficulties, he was surprised. But unexpected things came out of our encounter, and my boss and I were able to agree to interact more directly and effectively in the future.
Twenty-Four Hours A Day
October 8
A.A. Thought For The Day
There is such a thing as being too loyal to any one group. Do I feel put out when another group starts and some members of my group leave it and branch out into new territory? Or do I send them out with my blessing? Do I visit that new offshoot group and help it along? Or do I sulk in my own tent? A.A. grows by the starting of new groups all the time. I must realize that it’s a good thing for a large group to split up into smaller ones, even it if means that the large group–my own group–becomes smaller. Am I always ready to help new groups?
Meditation For The Day
Pray–and keep praying until it brings peace and serenity and a feeling of communion with One who is near and ready to help. The thought of God is balm for our hates and fears. In praying to God, we find healing for hurt feelings and resentments. In thinking of God, doubts and fears leave us. Instead of those doubts and fears, there will flow into our hearts such faith and love as is beyond the power of material things to give, and such peace as the world can neither give nor take away. And with God, we can have the tolerance to live and let live.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may have true tolerance and understanding. I pray that I may keep striving for these difficult things.
Walk In Dry Places
October 8
Changing other people
Relating to others.
“How can I get this person to accept the program?” We hear this often, for example, when a patient at a treatment center complains about another who is so negative toward the program “That he’s dragging all of us down.”
We discovered long ago that we have no power to change or manipulate others. At the very beginning of AA, its pioneers learned how to maintain their own sobriety and serenity even as others rebelled and turned against the program. They learned that negative people can’t drag us down unless we let them.
We might need to review our personal inventory if we’re too concerned about the behavior of others. Ours is a program of attraction, not coercion, and we “change” people only by demonstrating how well it works for us. Any concern about another’s behavior takes time and energy away from our own commitment to self-improvement.
I have a personal need and responsibility to carry the mess, but I have neither the right nor the responsibility to modify anybody’s behavior. I’ll keep this in mind today.
Keep It Simple
October 8
Just Say No.
— Nancy Reagan
We addicts were great at saying no. Our spouse asked us to help around the house and we said no and went drinking. Friends tried to care, but we said, “No, mind your own business!” Our parents or our kids begged us to stop drinking, but we said no.
We were also ask to say yes. We always said yes when asked if we wanted to have a drink or get high. Addiction really mixed us up. When we said no, we should have said yes. And when we said yes we should have said no.
In recovery, we do things better. We say yes when others ask for help. We say yes when somebody wants to give us love. We say no to alcohol and other drugs. We finally answer yes and no the right way—the right way and at the right time for us.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to always say yes to You, even when I’m tired or angry.
Action for the Day: In today’s inventory, I’ll ask myself if there are any ways I’m still saying no to my program and Higher Power.
I will exercise patience, as God would, with all others.
–Shelley“Youth is like spring, an over praised season more remarkable for biting winds than genial breezes. Autumn is the mellower season, and what we lose in flowers we more than gain in fruits.”
–Samuel Butler“The voyage of discovery lies not in finding new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”
–Marcel Proust
Father Leo’s Daily Meditation
October 8
UNDERSTANDING
“Intelligence is proved not by ease of learning but by understanding what we learn.”
– Joseph Whitney
For years I learned things without understanding what the words, or the meaning behind the words, really meant. An example was alcoholism. Then a man said, “My name is Bill, and I am an alcoholic and a recovering human being!” Then it struck me; recovery from a drug — alcohol — was not simply about putting down the glass but about changing and developing a positive lifestyle as a human being.
The same is true with spirituality. It is not about being religious, going to church or accepting dogma. It is about finding God in my life, discovering God in the decisions and actions I take and seeing Him in the world around me. Today I understand spirituality to be the link that unites all peoples and is centered on what is true and real.
May I continue to search for the meaning within the word and the harmony of communication.
Daily Inspiration
October 8
Waste no time on situations that aren’t worth your precious time. Lord, may I recognize pettiness for what it is and move on so that my imagination doesn’t take over and give pettiness more value than it deserves.
Ultimate security does not come from relying on things or people, but from relying on God. Lord, I place my trust in You. Bless me and keep me in Your loving care.
A Day At A Time
October 8
Reflection For The Day
Determination — our clenched-jaw resolve that we can do something about everything — is perhaps the greatest hindrance to achieving serenity. Our old tapes tell us, “The difficult can be done immediately; the impossible will take a little longer.” So we tighten up and prepare ourselves for battle, even though we know from long experience that our own will dooms us in advance to failure. Over and over we are told in The Program that we must “Let Go and Let God.” And we eventually do find serenity when we put aside our own will while accepting His will for us. Am I learning to relax my stubborn grip? Do I allow the solutions to unfold by themselves?
Today I Pray
May I loosen my tight-jaw, my tight-fists, my general up-tightness — outward indications of the “do it myself” syndrome which has gotten me into trouble before. May I know from experience that this attitude — of “keep a grip on yourself” and on everybody else, too — is accompanied by impatience and followed by frustration. May I merge my own will with the greater will of God.
Today I Will Remember
Let up on the strangle-hold.
One More Day
October 8
Love is all we have, the only way that each can help the other.
–Euripides
We may tend to love our family members only with qualifications. Only if they don’t complain about their problems. Only if they are more successful. Perhaps we don’t say this directly, but we might be communicating these qualifications to our loved ones by holding back or by making indirect suggestions as to how they should live their lives.
We may be able to give our love more fully if we remember how much we need acceptance. We don’t want to receive love that is prefaced by “only if . . .” Only if we don’t complain. Only if we stop talking about our illness. We all need the comfort and support of love based on what we are, not on what others think we can or should be. Our loved ones need the same thing.
Knowing I am loved and can love others is an unqualified manner strengthens me.
One Day At A Time
October 8
OUTCOMES
“Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program.”
–The AABB, Chapter 5
I always believed that I had to control every aspect of my life or I would be a “less-than” person. This attitude even crept into my attempts to learn the art of watercolor still life and portraits. Even my art could not escape the effects of my character defects! In order to learn something new, I have to be willing to follow the rules of the very thing I want to learn. I shared this with an experienced artist and best friend, “I find myself still wanting to control the outcome of the colors.”
“Isn’t that the way we try to control our lives? She replied. “Drop the paint where you want it to go, then drop the second color into that one and let it go! You can take your brush and guide it, but don’t mess with it!”
My life is like learning to watercolor. I have to trust that doing the footwork of recovery as others have done will bring about a beautiful portrait of growth in recovery.
One day at a time …
I will do the footwork by making good choices, letting each build upon the other, and I will stand back to see what God will create.
~ Sharon S.
Elder’s Meditation of the Day
October 8
“I think there was a big mistake made (when) people separated religion and the government. That was one of the big mistakes that was made, because when they did that, then they removed the Creator from their life – or at least from half to three-quarters of their life.”
–Tom Porter, MOHAWK
The Elders tell us that every thing the Creator made is interconnected. Nothing can be separated. The Elders say we should pray before we do anything. We should ask the Creator, what do You want us to do? We are put on the Earth to do the will of God. If we run our governments, communities, families or ourselves without the spiritual we are doomed to failure.
My Creator, guide my life to include the spiritual in everything I do.
Today’s Gift
October 8
Learn what you are and be such.
—Pindar
The most precious gift we can give those closest to us is honesty. Yet we often hide our true selves from friends, fearing we won’t be accepted or loved if we let them see the real us. Often, we show parts of ourselves that hide who we really are. We have often heard ourselves or others say, “My parents would just die if . . . ,” or, “don’t argue in front of the children.”
If we hide too much behind false images, we run the risk of losing track of what is real and what is false. We become actors instead of real people, trying to please Aunt Jane, our grandparents, our big brother, or our children.
When we conquer our fear of letting others in, we are able to see ourselves honestly. When we discover that others accept us as we are, we can accept and love ourselves. To know oneself is to know a person of value.
What part of me have I been hiding?
The Language Of Letting Go
October 8
Learning to Wait
I’ve started to realize that waiting is an art, that waiting achieves things. Waiting can be very, very powerful. Time is a valuable thing. If you can wait two years, you can sometimes achieve something that you could not achieve today, however hard you worked, however much money you threw up in the air, however many times you banged your head against the wall. . .
–The Courage to Change by Dennis Wholey
The people who are most successful at living and loving are those who can learn to wait successfully. Not many people enjoy waiting or learning patience. Yet, waiting can be a powerful tool that will help us accomplish much good.
We cannot always have what we want when we want it. For different reasons, what we want to do, have, be, or accomplish is not available to us now. But there are things we could not do or have today, no matter what, that we can have in the future. Today, we would make ourselves crazy trying to accomplish what will come naturally and with ease later.
We can trust that all is on schedule. Waiting time is not wasted time. Something is being worked out – in us, in someone else, in the Universe.
We don’t have to put our life on hold while we wait. We can direct our attention elsewhere; we can practice acceptance and gratitude in the interim; we can trust that we do have a life to live while we are waiting – then we go about living it.
Deal with your frustration and impatience, but learn how to wait. The old saying, “You can’t always get what you want” isn’t entirely true. Often, in life, we can get what we want – especially the desires of our heart – if we can learn to wait.
Today, I am willing to learn the art of patience. If I am feeling powerless because I am waiting for something to happen and I am not in control of timing, I will focus on the power available to me by learning to wait.
Touchstones Meditation For Men
October 8
We cannot avoid
Using power,
Cannot escape the compulsion
To afflict the world,
So let us, cautious in diction
And mighty in contradiction,
Love powerfully.
—Martin Buber
The use and misuse of power by men give us much to weep over and much to admire. In our own families we see how our parents fought over power, how they used it both wisely and abusively. Our problems with power and control are a central part of our addictions and codependency. Admitting our powerlessness has started us toward recovery. Admitting our power will help carry us further.
No one is innocent beyond childhood. We affect the people around us, and it matters how we treat them. We cannot come and go unnoticed. Since we will make an impact, we learn to treat ourselves and the people around us with respect and justice. Our only solution is to learn to love and be loved.
Today, I will be more aware of the power I have in others’ lives.
Daily TAO
October 8
UNCARVED
Once a statue is finished,
It is too late to change the arms.
Only with a virgin block
Are there possibilities.
It’s not easy to raise a child. You have to set an example all the time. Sometimes it is important for both child and guardian to understand that a child should not do certain things that the adult does. This is not hypocrisy. It is wisdom.
There was once a child who responded to his father’s admonitions by saying, “You do the same things.” The father took his son to a carver of temple figures. In the yard were great blocks of camphor and rosewood. Inside the studios were deities in various stages of completion, from gods still with fresh chisel marks to brightly painted and gilded masterpieces.
“I am older than you,” said the father. “So I am more like one of these finished statues. I have my accomplishments, and I have my faults. Once this figure has been carved, we cannot change the position of its arms.