Daily Reflections
October 10
FIXING ME, NOT YOU
If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also.
–TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 90
What a freedom I felt when this passage was pointed out to me! Suddenly I saw that I could do something about my anger, I could fix me, instead of trying to fix them. I believe that there are no exceptions to the axiom. When I am angry, my anger is always self-centered. I must keep reminding myself that I am human, that I am doing the best I can, even when that best is sometimes poor. So I ask God to remove my anger and truly set me free.
Twenty-Four Hours A Day
October 10
A.A. Thought For The Day
When new members come into my A.A. group, do I make a special effort to make them feel at home? Do I put myself out to listen to them, even if their ideas of A.A. are vague? Do I make it a habit to talk to all new members myself, or do I often leave that to someone else? I may not be able to help them, but, then, again it may be something that I might say that would put them on the right track. When I see any members sitting alone, do I put myself out to be nice to them, or do I stay among my own special group of friends and leave them out in the cold? Are all new A.A.s my responsibility?
Meditation For The Day
You are God’s servant. Serve Him cheerfully and readily. Nobody likes a servant who avoids extra work, who complains about being called from one task to do any less enjoyable. A master would feel that he was being ill served by such a servant. But is that not how you so often serve God? View your day’s work in this light. Try to do your day’s work in this light. Try to do your day’s work the way you believe God wants you to do it, never shirking any responsibility and often going out of your way to be of service.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may be a good servant. I pray that I may be willing to go out of my way to be of service.
Walk In Dry Places
October 10
Putting our trust in people.
Trust
How much should we trust other people? This is an important question, because many of us have erred in both directions: we’ve trusted people too much or not enough.
We can find our answer in the spiritual side of the program. We do have a Higher Power in whom we can have absolute trust. We can have little doubt that the spiritual presence behind everything is infallible and supreme.
As human beings, we know that we can only be trusted in certain ways. We can work to develop our trustworthiness, but it is never high enough, even with the strongest souls. All of us have weaknesses that can keep us from being what we know to be our best.
In our 12 Step living, we should work to develop trust in both ourselves and others, but no be hurt or disappointed when things go wrong. Above all, our real trust should be in our Higher Power.
I’ll work today to be trusting and trustworthy, but I’ll not expect too much of anybody, including myself.
Keep It Simple
October 10
The foolish and the dead never change their opinions.
–James Russell Lowell
We need to stay fresh in our program. We need to be open to new ideas. We need change. The ways we work the Steps should change for us as the years go by. And as we grow, more of the fog of our denial clears away. Then we see the world and our program in different ways.
We need to allow this to happen. At times, it’s scary to give up old ways and old opinions, but this is what allows new growth. Every day, we wake up to a new world. Being alive means change. Opinions and ideas are like a strong tree: the base is strong, but leaves change with the seasons.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me stay fresh and alive. Help me stay open to new ideas and attitudes. Help me to not become rigid.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll ask two friends to tell me how I may be rigid. I will listen to what they say.
Do not be wise in words – be wise in deeds.
–Jewish ProverbThought is the blossom; language the bud; action the fruit behind it.
–Ralph Waldo Emerson“Your family and your love must be cultivated like a garden. Time, effort, and imagination must be summoned constantly to keep any relationship flourishing and growing.”
–Jim Rohn“If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded as a parent and you will have given your children one of the greatest of all blessings.”
–Brian Tracy
Father Leo’s Daily Meditation
October 10
TOLERANCE
“Art, if it is to be reckoned with as one of the great values of life, must teach men … tolerance.”
–Somerset Maugham
There is something about art that is accepting, tolerant and reconcilable with “difference”. I have observed that artists — those who paint, write, dance, sculpture, design — are also people who are accepting and tolerant because they need the “different” in order to create and progress. Things cannot stay the same and art is the recorder of man’s journey towards the truth; but mankind needs friction, argument, confrontation, rejection — yes, “difference” in order to grow and develop.
People say that artists are crazy, and I suppose this is true. But we need crazy people to take the world where it needs to go. In the crazy, the seed of genius is often buried.
Lord, before I reject the artist or the “crazy”, let me seriously consider the message.
Daily Inspiration
October 10
Most often a gentle approach is the best resolution to a conflict. Lord, I have been given today to improve myself and make life better for others. Help me walk in the way that You lead me.
Live your life as though today was your last and learn as though you’ll live forever. Lord, You ask so little of the talents You have given to me. May I not neglect them.
Elder’s Meditation of the Day
October 10
“I think that’s what unity is – knowing one another and coming together and working with no conflict.”
–Chief Alan Wilson, HAIDA
When we are aligned with spiritual values, we cannot be in fear or conflict. When we are aligned to spiritual values, we have the Creator whispering solutions in our ears. Unity is one of the spiritual values. When we value unity we value solutions. If we think this way, then we have no conflict within ourselves.
Great Spirit, let me see through Your eyes.
Today’s Gift
October 10
Look, the wind vane fluttering in the autumn breeze
Takes hold of certain things that cannot be held.
–Feng Chih
When we think we are losing our grip, we have good reason to look up. Consider the moon suspended in the sky, how it continues to come and go, follows its natural law, and never really loses face. Consider the sun, the stars, the seasons, how they refuse to abandon us, to let go of their hold on our lives. And come closer to home. We can marvel at the magic of small efficient things – the toaster and stove, the light in the room, the words in a good book that are permanent, faithful, and clear. We can consider how music, without saying a word, still speaks to us, and how a few friends, maybe miles away, continue to hang on to the strength of our small and faithful words.
We can keep in mind that we are part of a complex and loving system, and our grip can never be lost.
How do I see my unity with my surroundings today?
The Language Of Letting Go
October 10
Payoffs from Destructive Relationships
Sometimes it helps to understand that we may be receiving a payoff from relationships that cause us distress.
The relationship may be feeding into our helplessness or our martyr role.
Maybe the relationships feeds our need to be needed, enhancing our self-esteem by allowing us to feel in control or morally superior to the other person.
Some of us feel alleviated from financial or other kinds of responsibility by staying in a particular relationship.
“My father sexually abused me when I was a child,” said one woman. “I went on to spend the next twenty years blackmailing him emotionally and financially on this. I could get money from him whenever I wanted, and I never had to take financial responsibility for myself.”
Realizing that we may have gotten a codependent payoff from a relationship is not a cause for shame. It means we are searching out the blocks in ourselves that may be stopping our growth.
We can take responsibility for the part we may have played in keeping ourselves victimized. When we are willing to look honestly and fearlessly at the payoff and let it go, we will find the healing we’ve been seeking. We’ll also be ready to receive the positive, healthy payoffs available in relationships, the payoffs we really want and need.
Today, I will be open to looking at the payoffs I may have received from staying in unhealthy relationships, or from keeping destructive systems operating. I will become ready to let go of my need to stay in unhealthy systems; I am ready to face myself.
Touchstones Meditation For Men
October 10
The last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitudes.
–Victor Frankl
When we stand and look at a mountain, it looks awesome, majestic, and perhaps intimidating. To climb the mountain we will need to select a route. Which approach will give us success? Which will provide a beautiful view? Which is safest? What are the rewards and trade offs among the paths available?
In our lives, we usually cannot choose the mountains that face us, but we can choose the best paths to approach them. One path may be a very negative attitude. It may feel safe like a narrow, protected passageway. It is predictable, but it keeps us cut off from others. Another path may be filled with too many self-indulgent pleasures and never progress in any direction. Another path may be hard and include some risks, but it allows us to be in contact with others and to appreciate the beauty along the way. When we make positive choices about our attitudes, although the mountain is challenging, we are liberated to become the kind of men we’re meant to be.
Today, I will choose friendly attitudes toward myself that will help me on my journey.
Daily TAO
October 10
DURATION
The sun shines half a day,
The moon dominates the rest.
Even contemplation
Should have its proper duration.
Some monks meditate sixteen hours at a time. Some have sat cross-legged so long that they have calluses on the sides of their feet. Others need frames to prop their bodies up, or they rest sticks on the floor with the sharp tips at their chins, so that they are awakened by a stab if they doze off. Is this admirable? Or is it mere obsession?
Meditation should have its proper duration. Once one finds the proper procedures, they should not be seen as an activity isolated from the rest of life. Those who follow Tao hold meditation to be imperative, but not exclusive. The primary point of this existence is to live, and all living things move and grow. Therefore meditation should be integrated with the flow of life. It should not dominate above all else.