Daily Reflections
December 18
HONESTY WITH NEWCOMERS
“Tell him exactly what happened to you. Stress the spiritual feature freely.”
—ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 93
The marvel of A.A. is that I tell only what happened to me. I don’t waste time offering advice to potential newcomers, for if advice worked, nobody would get to A.A. All I have to do is show what has brought me sobriety and what has changed my life. If I fail to stress the spiritual feature of A.A.’s program, I am being dishonest. The newcomer should not be given a false impression of sobriety. I am sober only through the grace of my Higher Power, and that makes it possible for me to share with others.
Twenty-Four Hours A Day
December 18
A.A. Thought For The Day
Unless we have the key of faith to unlock the meaning of life, we are lost. We do not choose faith because it is one way for us, but because it is the only way. Many have failed and will fail. For we cannot live victoriously without faith; we are at sea without a rudder or an anchor, drifting on the sea of life. Wayfarers without a home. Our souls are restless until they find rest in God. Without faith, our lives are a meaningless succession of unrelated happenings, without rhyme or reason. Have I come to rest in faith?
Meditation For The Day
This vast universe around us, including this wonderful earth on which we live, was once perhaps only a thought in the mind of God. The nearer the astronomers and the physicists get to the ultimate composition of all things, the nearer the universe approaches a mathematical formula, which is thought. The universe may be the thought of the Great Thinker. We must try to think God’s thoughts after Him. We must try to get the guidance from the Divine Mind as to what His intention is for the world and what part we can have in carrying out that intention.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may not worry over the limitations of the human mind. I pray that I may live as though my mind were a reflection of the Divine Mind.
Walk In Dry Places
December 18
The Fear Of Loneliness
Raising Self-Esteem
The fear of being alone brings strange results. It may cause us to cling to arrangements and relationships that are unsatisfactory or destructive. Some of us become enablers for loved ones who are still drinking; quite often this can involve putting up with abuse we shouldn’t have to endure.
We endure such relationships because we fear we’ll be alone and defenseless without them. We may even put up with friends who are manipulative or treacherous because we can’t visualize having happier, healthier friendships.
When we recognize that we are holding on to unsatisfactory relationships for such reasons, we need to apply the program more diligently in our own lives. Usually, we need more self-esteem—a belief that we deserve satisfactory relationships. We do not have to be alone, but neither do we have to endure what amounts to abuse and rejection.
Whether I’m with people or alone today, I’ll know that all of my relationships should be satisfactory for everybody involved. I’ll let my Higher Power guide me to the relationships that are right for me.
Keep It Simple
December 18
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
—Franklin D. Roosevelt
As addicts, we had lots of fear. Some of us were afraid of failure. So we didn’t try to do much. Or else we tried too hard all the time. We used alcohol and other drugs to forget our fear, but it didn’t go away. It got worse. Now we know we don’t have to be afraid. When our lives are in the care of our Higher Power, we’re safe. Faith is the cure for our fear. But still, fear keeps creeping back inside us. That’s okay. It’s normal. There is so much that’s new in our sober life! We don’t know what will happen next. It’s hard to always remember to trust our Higher Power. It’s hard to always do what our Higher Power says. It’s hard to always have faith. We have to practice turning our fear over to our Higher Power.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, be with me when I’m afraid. Help me remember to have faith to believe in You, even when my fear tells me not to.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll notice my fear and pray each time I get afraid.
“Thought is the blossom; language the bud; action the fruit behind it.”
—Ralph Waldo Emerson“Let me tell thee, time is a very precious gift of God; so precious that it is only given to us moment by moment.”
—Amelia Barr“Pain is never permanent.”
—Saint Theresa of Avila
Father Leo’s Daily Meditation
December 18
FREEDOM
“You are free and that is why you are lost.”
—Franz Kafka
Part of my understanding of spirituality is that we have many choices, and we live in moments of “not knowing.” Part of being human is that we have feelings of being lost. These feelings can lead to fear and loneliness or they can be seen as the essence of man’s risk and adventure. With freedom comes daily uncertainties; nothing is predestined or made to happen. God is in the choice. Herein lies true greatness. The fact is that we do not have all the answers. We are not sure of the results. The joys are mingled with the pain and sorrows such is the divinity of life. And yet still we choose to live!
Sobriety is accepting the reality of this uncertain life. My responsibility is accepting this freedom and making a daily choice not to drink.
May I accept my “lostness” until I return home to You.
Daily Inspiration
December 18
If you are not happy with what you have, how will you be happy with what you want to have? Lord, may I appreciate the good things in my life and refuse to feel sorry for myself or compare myself to others.
Many joys come from the simple things. Lord, open my eyes that I may see the wonders in my life and take the time to enjoy them.
Elder’s Meditation of the Day
December 18
“Parents have to demonstrate the value of trust, respect and honor.”
—Haida Gwaii, Traditional Circle of Elders
Children learn more by watching than by listening. If we want our children to understand and value trust, they know it by watching how adults live their lives! If we want the children to be respectful, they will observe what the adults do and say to each other. We need to walk our talk. We need to remember the children are watching.
Grandfather, help me learn these important values: Trust, Respect and Honor.
Today’s Gift
December 18
“Endurance is nobler than strength, and patience than beauty.”
—John Ruskin
It’s hard to keep from trying to control the lives of others, especially in a family. We can learn from the man whose friend drove twenty miles to and from work on the freeway every day. “How can you do it?” he asked. “I’ve tried, and I can’t go a mile in such traffic without screaming at the crazy drivers who cut in, go too slow, change lanes. Nobody listens. I’d lose my mind if I had to do it your way.” His friend replied, “Your trouble is trying to drive every car around you. I relax and drive only one car—my own.”
We have only our own lives to live, and this is usually enough to keep us busy. If we pay too much attention to how others live, we will neglect ourselves.
What acts of others can I ignore today?
Touchstones Meditations For Men
December 18
“Ultimately, both parents and children are seen as individuals. For all their claims on one another, each is entitled to a life separate and distinct from the other.”
—Francine Klagsbrun
The process of untangling the relationships between ourselves and our parents—as well as with our children—is a long term process. Each of us came into the world helpless. As sons, we had no choice about relying on our parents. We reached manhood with a mixture of gratitude, guilt, and resentment. The same is true of our children. Those of us who are fathers began with an obligation to our children. We may now feel a mixture of commitment, fulfillment, and guilt.
No parent can teach a child everything he or she will need. We all do what we can to continue to learn and grow. We have lifelong commitments to each other—within reason. We are all trying to make our way as best we can. We each need to advance our own well-being and not destroy our lives for the sake of a parent or a child.
Today, I will be responsible for myself. Then I can be more responsible to others.
Daily TAO
December 18
TEMPLATE
Must you see nature as a machine?
Is your only learning chemistry, physics, and ontology?
What if poetry was your template for life?
Can’t you know Tao by the feeling of mud in your sandals?
Thus are the sages called silly:
They have given up their prejudices.
The world appears as you perceive it. It is not that your perceptions are wholly shaped by a so-called objective world. The habit of interpretation is interactive; we do things to test our hypotheses until we have created a complicated web of sensory input and centrifugal manipulation. By the time we are “mature,” we have created innumerable layers of interpretation and biased perception that become our templates for living. Of course, we could have some fun with this situation. We could change the templates that we use to interact with the world.