Daily Reflections
May 4
ENTIRELY HONEST
We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world.
-ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p 73-74
Honesty, like all virtues, is to be shared. It began after I shared “. . . [my] whole life’s story with someone . . .” in order to find my place in the Fellowship. Later I shared my life in order to help the newcomer find his place with us. This sharing helps me to learn honesty in all my dealings and to know that God’s plan for me comes true through honest openness and willingness.
Alcoholics Anonymous
May 4
A LATE START
– “It’s been ten years since I retired, seven years since I joined A.A. Now I can truly say that I am a grateful alcoholic.”
A year and a half later I retired. I was enjoying my new freedom and gave myself permission to have a drink only when I was dining out. That worked so well that I made a new rule: I could have a cocktail before dinner and an after-dinner drink. Then I made a rule that said I could serve alcohol to my friends in my home. That or course is the rule that sent me spinning right back down into fearful drunkenness. I was worse than before. My self-imposed hell was in my own home. Unbathed, in the same nightclothes day after day, afraid of the phone, the doorbell, and the darkness. If the clock said six, I wouldn’t know whether it was morning or evening. Days ran into each other in an agonizing blur. I crawled to bed, drank when I came to, and sat shivering in fear of some unknown tragedy that I thought was about to descend on me. I remember wailing because I couldn’t make coffee, sitting curled in a corner trying to sort out how I could commit suicide without making a mess. I might have tried, but I was afraid no one would find me before I started to stink.
pp. 538-539
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
May 4
Step Ten – “Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.”
A continuous look at our assets and liabilities, and a real desire to learn and grow by this means, are necessities for us. We alcoholics have learned this the hard way. More experienced people, of course, in all times and places have practiced unsparing self-survey and criticism. For the wise have always known that no one can make much of his life until self-searching becomes a regular habit, until he is able to admit and accept what he finds, and until he patiently and persistently tries to correct what is wrong.
p. 88
Twenty-Four Hours A
Day
May 4
A.A. Thought for the Day
When I was drinking, I always tried to build myself up. I used to tell tall stories about myself. I told them so often that I half believe some of them now, even though I know they aren’t true. I used to hang around the lowbrow barrooms so I could feel superior to the other customers. The reason I always tried to build myself up was that I knew deep down in my heart that I really didn’t amount to anything. It was a kind of defense against my feeling of inferiority. Do I still build myself up?
Meditation for the Day
God thought about the universe and brought it into being. His thought brought me into being. I must think God’s thought after Him. I must often keep my mind occupied with thoughts about God and meditate on the way He wants me to live. I must train my mind constantly in quiet times of communion with God. It is the work of a lifetime to develop to full stature spiritually. This is what I am on earth for. It gives meaning to my life.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may think God’s thoughts after Him. I pray that I may live as He wants me to live.
Quoted from the app 24 Hours a Day
A Day At A Time
May 4
Reflection For The Day
Many people pray as though to overcome the will of a reluctant God, instead of taking hold of the willingness of a loving God. In the late stages of our addiction, the will to resist has fled. Yet when we admit complete defeat, and when we become entirely ready to try the principles of The Program, our obsession leaves us and we enter a new dimension — freedom under God as we understood Him. Is my growth in The Program convincing me that God alone can remove obsessions?
Today I Pray
May I pray not as a complaining child to a stern father, as though “praying” must always mean “pleading,” usually in moments of helpless desperation. May I pray, instead, for my own willingness to reach out to Him, since He is ready at all times to reach out to me. May I regard my Higher Power as a willing God.
Today I Will Remember
God is Willing.
One More Day
May 4
I was the breadwinner.
Only I didn’t WIN the bread,
I worked hard, and earned it.
– Elise Maclay
When poor health slightly alters the way we live our lives, the adjustment is difficult but feasible. But when poor health alters the way we live our lives and wrenches away even our financial livelihood, the adjustment is far more difficult.
Sufferers of chronic medical conditions often must discontinue working and may have to depend upon loved ones or disability payments for income. It may take some time to regain perspective, to realize that whether we are working or not, we still have personal worth. What matters most is what kind of person we are, not what job we do.
Life has handed me a portion I did not choose and do not welcome, but I can choose my own response.
Walk in Dry Places
May 4
Secrets of the New Happiness
Success in living
Most of us know whether other people are truly happy. What’s odd, however, is that we don’t often try to practice the things that bring happiness to others. Often, the happiness we’re striving for is really a form of excitement, trying to be continuously stimulated so as not to be bored or depressed.
Excitement does not create happiness. We find true happiness when we learn to serve others in right ways; that is, without demanding their gratitude or some other recognition. We also find true happiness in self-acceptance, being generally satisfied with our lot in life and grateful for the self-improvement we’ve found. We find happiness, too, in keeping occupied with useful activities that place demands on our energies and abilities.
There is no such thing as a happy alcoholic who is still drinking. There are also recovering people who have not yet found happiness. But the program unlocks the happiness, and we do have members whose happiness is an example to others.
I can be happy one day at a time. I will make the choice to be happy today, and to let tomorrow come in its own time. Nothing can interfere with today’s happiness.
One Day At A Time
May 4
LIGHT
It’s better to light a candle then to curse the darkness.
–Old Chinese Proverb
I have been living with this disease of compulsive eating for as long as I can remember. I remember stealing money out of my mother’s purse to buy sugar-filled soft drinks and candy, and sneaking food out of the cupboard and trying to make it look like nothing was missing. I hid food and ate in isolation, pretending on the outside that nothing was wrong. But I carried this terrible secret — I lived to eat.
As my disease progressed, I acted out in other compulsive ways, and surrounded myself with people who cared nothing for my welfare. I kept running faster and faster, and eating more and more, as my disease sucked all of the energy from my spirit. I sank deeper into the darkness of despair and depression, cursing all those I blamed for my unhappiness.
Through the grace of my Higher Power, my life became so painful that I had to seek help outside of myself. I found this program, and a candle was lit. While my recovery has been rocky over the last 10 years, that candle of progress and hope continues to light my way. No matter how bad things get now, I know that I have my Higher Power and my program friends to lean on. The wonderful people I have met through the program have saved my life, and have shown me the path to peace and abstinence. While I don’t always choose to follow that path perfectly, I continue to recover, and to find everyday joys that make life worth living.
One day at a time …
I will keep the light of recovery burning.
Keep It Simple
May 4
I am the greatest.
—Muhammad AliWe need to believe in ourselves. we’re sober. We’re honest. We’re trustworthy. We’re not making so many problems for other people anymore We do our share. We can even help others sometimes.
We’re glad that others help us. We thank our Higher Power every day. But we also give ourselves credit. We’re working our program. We can handle life as best we can. And as long as we ask our Higher Power to work through us, we are the greatest.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me feel proud of the changes in my life.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll talk with my sponsor about pride. What is good pride? What should I watch out for?
As Bill Sees It
May 4
Built by the One and the Many, p. 155We give thanks to our Heavenly Father, who, through so many friends and through so many means and channels, has allowed us to construct this wonderful edifice of the spirit in which we are now dwelling–this cathedral whose foundations already rest upon the corners of the earth.
On its great floor we have inscribed our Twelve Steps of recovery. On the side walls, the buttresses of the A.A. Traditions have been set in place to contain us in unity for as long as God may will it so. Eager hearts and hands have lifted the spire of our cathedral into its place. That spire bears the name of service. May it ever point straight upward toward God.
“It is not only to the few that we owe the remarkable developments in our unity and in our ability to carry A.A.’s message everywhere. It is to the many, indeed, it is to the labors of all of us that we owe these prime blessings.”
1. A.A. Comes Of Age, p. 234
2. Talk, 1959
Father Leo’s Daily
Meditation
May 4
WAR
“War is only a cowardly escape from the problems of peace.”
–Thomas Mann
Sometimes it is easier to attack than it is to discuss and seek harmony. It is easier to lash out, hurt, maim or destroy than it is to listen, forgive, understand and reconcile. Violence is so often the cowardly way out.
The sadness for our society is that war and violence are often presented as manly or heroic. Our modern heroes so often carry weapons rather than the olive branch. Surrender is seen as cowardice. Gentleness is seen as weakness. The diplomat is seen as the schemer.
My recovery teaches me that nothing is gained by acts of violence, whereas in the atmosphere of peace, God and man can be reconciled.
Give me the courage to surrender on a daily basis and bring harmony into my world.
Daily Inspiration
May 4
It takes far less effort to concentrate on one thought at a time and usually eliminates the confusion we often create for ourselves. Lord, I pray for clarity of thought and the wisdom that it brings.
When we become aware that we possess all the spiritual treasures necessary for a productive and happy life, we will never want for anything. Lord, You are a limitless source of abundance and love.
Elder’s Meditation of the Day
May 4
“The whole religion is like a preparation. It’s a preparation for going to the Good Land or to the place of your ancestors. We all have to go through it. We all know this.”
–Horace Axtell, NEZ PERCE
There are two Worlds that exist. The Seen World and the Unseen World. Sometimes these worlds are called the Physical World and the Spiritual World. The Elders say, when it is time to go to the other side, our relatives will appear a few days before to help us enter the Spirit World. This is a happy place; the hunting is good; the place of the Grandfathers, the Creator, the Great Spirit, God, is a joyful place.
Grandfathers, today, let me look forward to the Spirit World. Bless all my Relations.
The meditations are copyright of Coyhis Publishing and can also be found in the book, Meditations with Native American Elders: The Four Seasons
Journey to the Heart
May 4
Cherish Each Moment
Stop waiting for the one moment in time that will change your life. Instead, cherish all the moments. A desert cactus that blooms briefly only once a year does not consider all the moments it is not in bloom wasted. It considers them necessary and important. It knows the rest of the year, the rest of its life, it is beautiful, too.
All the moments count. The quiet moments. The moments of boredom and solitude. The moments of sharing. The exciting moments of discovery. The moments of grandeur. The agonizing moments when we feel sad, angry, and upset. Each moment in time is equally important. Don’t wait and hope for the one thing, the one person, the one event, that will change your life, plummet you into the future and the life you desire. Instead remember that each moment in time brings change, evolution, and transformation.
Most of us relish the magnificent spiritual experiences, those tremendous discoveries, those important times of change. But those moments don’t happen that often. The truth is, each moment in time is a spiritual experience, an important time of change. Cherish all your moments. Soon you will see the beauty and power of each.
Let each moment have value. Let each day of your life be the spiritual experience you seek. The power to change and evolve lies within you. The life you desire is happening right now. Your destiny is here.
Cherish all your moments. Embrace the beauty and importance of each one.
Each Day a New Beginning
May 4
The rare and beautiful experiences of divine revelation are moments of special gifts. Each of us, however, lives each day with special gifts which are a part of our very being, and life is a process of discovering and developing these God-given gifts within each one of us.
—Jeane Dixon
Have we discovered what our gifts are? We assuredly have them, and now that we are abstinent we have opportunities, daily, to share them with others. Sharing them knowingly will bring joy to us, but more than that, we will grow in appreciation of ourselves. And we do need to realize how very important we are to others.
Many of us came into this program nearly feet first. Most of us were filled with rage, shame, or both. Life had dumped on us. We had survived only minimally. The knowledge that we had something to offer the human race was not ours, then. It may still be knowledge that escapes us, from time to time. But we can learn to acknowledge it.
We have many talents that are ours alone to offer the world. Perhaps we express ourselves adroitly; maybe we write particularly well. Listening when it’s most needed by a friend may be our finest talent today. We might have gifts as a musician or a manager. Our inner self knows our strengths. We can listen for that voice.
God is trying to get my attention today, to direct my energies to make the most of my special talents. I will be aware.
The Language of Letting Go
May 4
Freedom from Compulsive Disorders
Thank you for keeping me straight yesterday. Please help me stay straight today.
—paraphrased from Alcoholics Anonymous
When I first began my recovery from codependency, I was furious about having to begin another recovery program. Seven years earlier, I had begun recovery from chemical dependency. It didn’t seem fair that one person should have to address two major issues in one lifetime.
I’ve gotten over my anger. I’ve learned that my recoveries aren’t isolated from one another. Many of us recovering from codependency and adult children issues are also recovering from addictions: alcoholism, other drug dependency, gambling, food, work, or sex addiction. Some of us are trying to stay free of other compulsive disorders – ranging from caretaking to compulsively feeling miserable, guilty, or ashamed.
An important part of codependency recovery is staying clean and free of our compulsive or addictive behaviors. Recovery is one big room we’ve entered called healthy living.
We can wave the white flag of surrender to all our addictions. We can safely turn to a Power greater than ourselves to relieve us of our compulsive behavior. We know that now. Once we begin actively working a program of recovery, God will relieve us of our addictions. Ask God each morning to help us stay free of our addictions and compulsions. Thank God for helping us the day before.
Today, God, help me pay attention to all my recovery issues. Help me know that before I can work on the finer points of my recovery, such as my relationships, I must be free of addictive behaviors.
More Language Of Letting Go
May 4
Know when to say no
Saying no is another way of saying when. For some of us, the hardest word in the language to speak is the short, simple word no. Instead of saying no, we toil on. What will he think if I say no? Mary won’t be my friend if I don’t do this. The project won’t get done unless I do it. I’m not a team player when I say no. A good Christian needs to sacrifice himself. Saying no is selfish. And the list goes on. We abuse ourselves, take on more than we want, and find ourselves bitter and resentful. And we’ve done it to ourselves.
Know your limits. Know when to say no. There may be a few people who are offended by the limits that you set, but usually those are the ones trying to control or manipulate you. Some well-meaning colleagues may tell you that you’re being selfish, but your ultimate responsibility is to yourself. That responsibility includes knowing how and when to set limits.
Look at your schedule. Are you so overloaded or booked that you can’t see when you could have any time for fun, relaxing, or your own personal growth? It may be time for you to start setting limits. Remember, you get to decide what’s best for you.
Learn to say no and stand by your choice.
God, help me to have the strength to set reasonable limits for myself and to tell others when I cannot help them. Help me learn to say no.
Today’s Gift
May 4
A person can grow only as much as his horizon allows.
—John Powell
Should you become a doctor or perhaps an astronaut? Maybe being a writer or an athlete appeals to you. Dreaming of what to be can be useful. It helps us set our goals and learn our values. Also, using our imagination lets us “try on” a future role. We learn about our life’s direction through our dreams of where to go and what to do.
Not all dreams are helpful, however. Sometimes we daydream about other things when we really do need to listen. Learning how to use our imagination to guide our plans for growing up takes practice.
Imagining ourselves happy and brave will help us feel both. Imagining ourselves as failures can be just as powerful. Let’s respect the power of the imagination and use it to form good images of our future.
How can I build goodness and success into my future today?
Touchstones Meditation for Men
May 4
What if the interests of the self were expanded to … a God’s eye view of the human scene … accepting failure as being as natural an occurrence as success in the stupendous human drama … as little cause for worry and concern as having to play the role of a loser in a summer theater performance.
—Huston Smith
Detachment is a mature and wise way of dealing with life experiences. It is sometimes difficult because it challenges our maturity. How can we take failure lightly when we have been taught all our lives to be winners and to accept every dare? How can we stand back from a loved one who is anxious and in pain, still be supportive, but not take charge as if it were our problem?
We can question some of our old ideas. Maybe we were wrong to think we should always be Prince Charming who rescues maidens in distress. Maybe our ideas about being winners have been compulsions that stood in our way of having true friends.
As my perspective is changed, I will get stronger in maintaining a healthy detachment.
Daily TAO
May 4
DEFIANCE
Every god can be defied.
No choice, no devotion.
There have been many rebels who have chosen to defy their gods. Without this option, there can be no true devotion to a holy concept. For devotion is only valuable when a conscious decision is made to follow that course, even in acknowledgment of the difficulties ahead. Choosing to be a devout person is good. Choosing to defy the gods is also good, for it reaffirms the basic ability of human beings to make choices. We cannot support religions which say that there are no choices.
Metaphysical totalitarianism of any kind stifles the freedom we have as human beings. It is not acceptable to have a religion where the alternative to faith is punishment — that’s how you train dogs, not develop people. Spirituality is only great when it allows that utmost freedom to follow it. If we suffer from difficulties, that is not holy retribution, and we should not allow it to create debilitating questions.
If you endure a crisis in your life, it may well challenge your faith. Perhaps you will even respond bitterly to your gods and cry out: “How could anything holy permit this atrocity to happen to me?” But gods are not our parents or protectors. They are there only to inspire us to be better people. They symbolize the inherent choice of this existence. It is secondary whether we choose belief or defiance. What is precious is that we are always able to choose.
Daily Zen
May 5
Stop searching for phrases
and chasing after words.
Take the backward step
and turn the light inward.
Your body-mind of itself
will drop off
and your original face will appear.
If you want to attain just this,
immediately practice just this.
– Dogen 1227